A Cruise to Paradise Haven
by WaNdA
Summary: Elrond's a pizzaholic, Galadriel's a fashion queen, Celeborn likes to color, and Glorfindel is the dancing queen....and they're all taking a cruise to the Grey Havens together! Ch5 up! R&R Please!
1. Travelling Arrangements

Disclaimer: I do not own Glorfindel, Elrond, Galadriel, Celeborn, or any other LotR related characters  
  
that come up in this story. With that said, I hope you enjoy this story!  
  
  
  
"Well," said Elrond," I believe it is time for a well deserved vacation after all this Ring business. What do  
  
you think?"  
  
Glorfindel, Galadriel, and Celeborn all nodded their agreement.  
  
" We know we want to go to the Havens, but which ship shall we take?" asked Galadriel.  
  
Celeborn looked at the list in front of them.  
  
" I say we go with the Swan Princess. It has a spa on board."  
  
Galadriel closed her eyes and smiled dreamily. " Mmmmm....massages."  
  
Glorfindel looked thoughtful. " What about the Sea Crosser? It's got a 24 hour pizzaria."  
  
Elrond smiled in delight. " That is amazing! I love consuming the massive amounts of cheese and rivers  
  
of sauce and mountains of bread they call pizza." His eyes shone.  
  
" Isn't there one with a spa and a pizzaria? And what about deluxe suites? We'll be celebrating our  
  
3,000 year anniversary soon, dear." said Galadriel.  
  
" Hmmmm...." Celeborn looked down the list. " Aha! Here's one! 'A cruise to eternity in paradise.  
  
Our ship has a 24 hour buffet, ( "Yes, Elrond, pizza included.") a spa and pool area, superior  
  
accomidations, a dance club and more! Ride the S.S. Callisto today!' What do you think?"  
  
Elrond stood up and did a happy dance. " We're going on vacation! We're going on vacation! A  
  
permanant vacation!"  
  
Glorfindel, Galaderiel, and Cleborn joined in his little song/chant and they all did a congaline.  
  
" The S.S. Callisto it is, then! " said Glorfindel when the Elves had all sat down again.  
  
" When does it leave?" asked Galadriel.  
  
" Tomorrow morining bright and early." amswered Celeborn after consulting his list once more.  
  
"Well, then let's get to packing and bed so we can catch our boat to paradise." said Elrond.  
  
The four bid each other good-night and then went off to their own business.  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
Celeborn took out his crayons and started drawing. His whole room was covered in  
  
drawings. Ever since he was little, his mother had always encouraged to him to draw. She'd  
  
told him it might come in handy some day. So far it hadn't, but he liked drawing hobbits. His  
  
favorite thing to do, though, was draw orcs and tear them to shreds. It helped him to release his  
  
anger in a non-violent way. His mother had told him it was good therapy.  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
Galadriel opened her closet and pulled out two white dresses. "Which one should I bring,  
  
dear?" She the two up and faced Celeborn.  
  
" Galadriel, sweetheart, they are exactly the same. Every outfit in your closet is exactly the same."  
  
Galadriel was talking ot herself. " Oh, but I like this one so much better." She went to put one back.  
  
" But, no, this one is the one I was wearing 2,000 years ago when I first discovered how important  
  
fashion is. Leaving it behind would be like destroying a memory."  
  
Celeborn put his crayons down, looked at his wife, and shook his head. Sometimes it amazed him  
  
how strange and shallow she could be. He decided to go to bed before she started trying to get him  
  
to pack her mirror. That he knew she would have to part with and he didn't want to be there to  
  
witness her reaction when the that dawned on her.  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
Elrond sat in front of his window with an intense expression upon his face. When was the  
  
last time he'd had pizza? " Let's see," he thought. " The first time was at that little Italian place just  
  
past Bree." Then there'd been the time with Celebrian, his wife. He'd had pizza and she, spaghetti.  
  
He'd warned her about meatballs, told her to stck to pizza, but had she listened? No, she'd gone  
  
and choked on one and then left him claiming to see no more joy in life, all because she hadn't  
  
wanted to admit that he'd been right about meatballs. Oh, how he longed for pizza.....  
  
* * *  
  
Glorfindel took out a yellow boombox and switched it on. " Do a little dance! Make a little  
  
love! Get down tonight!" He thrust out his pelvis and began to disco. Then, after being warmed up,  
  
he began to breakdance. Windmill. The Worm. He'd won a dance competition in his younger days  
  
and since Celeborn had said there was to be a dance club on board, Glorfindel wanted to touch up  
  
on his dance tecniques.  
  
  
  
A/N: Thanks aton for reading this! I hope you liked it so far! If you want to read more, please  
  
review! :) *~*WaNdA*~* 


	2. At the Docks

Disclaimer: I still don't own any of these characters. Drat. Thanks to those who were nice enough to review! Enjoy and please review if you haven't already! And even if you have, you're more than welcome to do so again!  
  
Elrond woke up to a pillow that was soaking wet. He sighed. So the pizza had only been a dream. A dream that had made his drool uncontrolably, but still only a dream. " Oh well." He thought, " I'll be sinking my teeth into a nice slice of the real stuff soon enough." With that in mind, he then proceeded to gather his suitcases together and then went to get dressed. Flinging open the front door of The Last Homely House ( after he was dressed of course) , Elrond was greeted by a bright sunshiney day. After scribbling a quick note to Glorfindel, he put his suitcases aboard a horse, mounted, and rode off towards the sun. Then he realized he'd been riding in the wrong direction and quickly changed direction.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Glorfindel awoke to his blue alarm clock blaring a Britney Spears song. " What a way to start the day." he thought glumly, " I wake up to one of the few pop artists I despise." He flipped the radio to a different station and Blink182 played out. Glorfindel's mood immediately brightened and sitting up and stretching, he thought to himself, "Ah, that's MUCH better!" Quickly getting dressed, he then packed a few last minute items ( boombox, hair gel, dance clothes, ect....), and then went in search of Elrond. He found a note on the front door. It read:  
  
Dear Glorf., Your name is too long so I decided to abbreveate it. Anyways, I want pizza really badly, so I'm leaving now. I'll meet you at the docks. Oh, and by the way, you were singing " Oops, I did it Again" in your sleep. Just thought you'd want to know.  
  
- Elrond the Great  
  
" Was singing Britney Spears in my sleep?!" Glorfindel said revolted as he scanned the note. " Thanks for waiting for me Elrond the Great. Yeah, Great Lunatic!" Glorfindel shook his head and walked out the door.  
  
* * * * *  
  
" Galadriel, dear." Celeborn nudged his wife. Her back was to him and he couldn't tell if she was awake or not. " Galad- Ahhh!!" Galadriel rolled over and Celeborn let out a scream. " Wh-what is it, hon?" asked Galadriel groggily. Celeborn just stared at her and hugged his pillow. " Now, really." said Galadriel huffily, " It's not as though you've never seen me in my face mask before. I've been wearing it every night for the past 1,000 years or so!" " Which explains why we've only had two children." he retorted. Galadriel glared at him. " This is the only way I'll stay beautiful and wrinkle free." " Galadriel, you've always been beautiful and wrinkle free." said Celeborn, "Now let's get moving or we'll be late." The two got dressed and loaded their ( well, mostly Galadriel's) luggage onto three horses. Two of which carried Galadriel's closet full of cloned white dresses. It was all Celeborn could do to keep his wife from ripping her mirror out of the ground and making one of the poor animals carry that as well. Celeborn patted his saddle bag, making sure his crayons and paper were there, and then they were off.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Elrond sat at the docks and checked his ultra cool glow in the dark watch. The ship would be here any minute and the others weren't there yet! Well, actually it wasn't due for another half an hour or so, but Elrond wasn't very patient when it came to pizza. 15 minutes later Glorfindel rode up. " Yo Elly Boy! " he called, " I got a bone to pick with you!" " What is it? Can it wait until after pizza?" " No! What's this about!" he held up the note. Elrond shrugged, " I wanted to leave but you were asleep. By the way you have a very nice singing voice." he teased. " Shut up old timer! I hate Britney Spears! And you didn't get to the boat any quicker than if you'd've waited...because it's not even her yet!!" " Okay." replied Elrond with child-like simplicity. Just as Celeborn and Galadriel arrived ( they'd been slow because Galadriel's suitcase's weighed a ton), the S.S. Callisto pulled into port. " Spa......" murmered Galadriel. " Coloring time..." said Celeborn softly. " Dancing!" said Glorfindel excitedly. " PIZZA!!!" screamed Elrond. He tried to run onto the ship only to be stopped by a buff looking guy in a black suit. " Tickets please." Elrond looked bewildered. " What tickets?" Galadriel looked at Celeborn. " Where are the tickets?' Celeborn laughed nervously. " I-uhh-didn't know we needed any." Elrond began to cry. " Oh woe is me! Lament for pizza!" Glorfindel stopped dancing and Galadriel started yelling at Celeborn. " No tickets, no cruise." said The Guy. " Let's go boys!" " Wait!" cried Glorfindel. The Guy turned around. " Give us a sec, okay?" Glorfindel gathered the others around him.  
  
Will Elrond get his pizza?? Will Celeborn get off the hook? Will they EVER get on the cruise ship? Will anyone read this and review it? ( Pleeeaseee???) Stay tuned for the next episode of A Cruise to Paradise Haven! 


	3. SO First Age!

Disclaimer: You know I don't own anything but the plot and the S.S. Callisto! LoL  
  
A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who's actually taken the time to read and review this insane piece of fanfiction! Sorry it took so long to update, but I have so many other fics I'm working on that I've neglected updating this one! Bad me! If you want to be SUPER nice you'll review this story and maybe even my other ones! Okay, I'll stop rambling......  
  
Chapter 3: So First Age!  
  
Glorfindel and the other Elves got into a huddle. " What are we going to do?" asked Elrond. " I need pizza! We have to get on that boat!" " Well Sir High and Mighty who leaves his best friend behind, I've just bought us some time!" said Glorfindel. " Okay, Glorf!" Elrond smiked. Glorfindel fashed him a sarcastic smile in return. Galadriel whipped out her portable mirror, looked into it, and began to talk. Celeborn sighed. " Galadriel, are you talking to your own reflection again?" " No! I'm talking to my aunt's uncle's brother's sister's mother's best friend's youngest daughter. I forgot to tell her that I won't be able to discus fashion with her anymore because we're hopefully leaving!" She turned back to the mirror. " Now, as I was saying dear..." Just then Celeborn had an idea. He grabbed his wife's mirror, closed the lid, and swirled the water around to end Galadriel's " phone call". " Celeborn! I was having an important conversation about facial masks!" Galadriel was beside herself. " Why did you do that?" Elrond inquired. Celeborn noticed The Guy getting imatient; he kept checking his watch. " Do you all want to get on the ship?" Celeborn asked. The Elves all nodded. " Then Galadriel, call the operator and ask for the ticket box number for the S.S. Callisto." Galadriel snatched the mirror back and did so. She then called the ticket nimber. There was the sound of "Concerning Hobbits" and the Elves all turned around to see The Guy reach into his pocket and pull out a small marble ( like a small Palantir) which he pressed and then spoke into. " Hello, this is-" A bird squaked so that no one was able to hear The Guy's name. "Hello." replied Galadriel. " What can I do for you?" "Well-" Galadriel started. Glorfindel looked around. " This is rediculous! He's standing right there! Just go over there and talk to him!" He turned. " Hey Guy!" " Shhhh! I'm talking!" The Guy replied. Glorfindel's jaw dropped and he pointed form Galadriel to The Guy several times, his mouth gaping like a fish out of water. Finally, he just sighed, shook his head, and gave up, falling silent. Galadriel looked up from her mirror with a smile on her face. " We've got the tickets!" " How much were they?" asked Elrond. " I have to give The Guy a make-over in return. His whole look is so First Age!" she replied and walked over to get the tickets, leaving three shocked Elves behind her. A few minutes later she returned and gave out the tickets. The four Elves grabbed their luggage and made their way to the ship. As the others went on ahead, Glorfindel stopped. " Why didn't you just tell us we could buy the tickets from you?" he asked The Guy. " You never asked." The Guy ushered Glorfindel onto the ship and they pulled away from the deck.  
  
~ Well? What did you think? Let me know by reviewing please!~ ~*~WaNdA~*~ 


	4. Finally on Board

Disclaimer: I do not own any of Tolkien's characters. I only make them look goofy.  
  
A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to update! I apologise! Hopefully some people will be kind enough to leave a review this time. Hint hint. :)  
  
Chapter 4: Finally on Board  
  
"Ahh, how lovely!" Galadriel clapped her hands together happily. " Lots of closet space!" Celeborn stumbled in behind her, heavily laden with her many suitcases. "Just toss them over there please, dear." Galadriel said from deep within the large closet. Celeborn just dropped the baggage right where he stood. It landed with a thud. He then went to his own little bag and put his hand inside. Panic filled Celeborn's eyes as his fingers closed around everything but his beloved crayons. He dumped the contents of the bag out and searched through them frantically. Toffees, lembas, toothbrush, medicine, and at last...crayons and paper. Celeborn sighed and sank to the floor with relief. He carefully tore a single sheet of paper from his drawing pad and placed it on top of the closed pad, balancing it on his lap. What to draw, what to draw. he wondered, eventually deciding on hobbits. Celeborn loved drawing hobbits.  
  
Suddenly a high piercing scream broke the silence. Celeborn's crayon slipped and a long brown line appeared across the page. At this point several obscenities crossed his mind. "Celeborn! I can't find my white dress anywhere!" Galadriel exclaimed, panicky. "Which one?" "Number 502!" Galadriel moaned. Celeborn fell onto his back, crayon still in hand, in exhasperation. "Why is my wife such a ditz at times?" he wondered vaguely.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Glorfindel reached his room and sighed happily. There was plenty of floor space. He tossed his bag onto the bed, picked up his flourescent yellow boombox, and placed it lovingly on the bedside table. The lapping of the waves against the side of the cruise ship was apparant and created a rythmn of sorts. Splish splosh. Splish splosh. Glorfindel tapped his foot to the beat. He felt a groove coming on...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Elrond arrived at his cozy room with a slight thought in the back of his mind about how much he would've loved to share this trip with his wife. But the thought was quickly pushed aside by his desire for pizza. Tossing all of his bags haphazardly on the floor, Elrond raced for the dining area. Only to find it closed. The food wasn't ready yet. Elrond trudged disappointedly back to his room. Upon entering, he dramatically raised a hand to his forehead, closed his eyes, and said: "Woe unto me." He took a step forward and promptly tripped on one of his bags, landing flat on his face.  
  
Will Galadriel find her missing dress? Will Celeborn go crazy because of his superficial wife? How's Glorfindel's groove coming along? And will Elrond EVER get his pizza? Find out next time on " A Cruise to Paradise Haven" !!  
  
~*WaNdA*~ 


	5. Missing Dresses, Rivers, and Pizza Time

Disclaimer: I do not own any of Tolkien's characters. I'm just here to make them look rediculous!  
  
Chapter 5: Missing Dresses, Rivers, and Pizza Time  
  
"I need that dress!" Galadriel tossed several other white dresses behind her. Celeborn sat up and massaged his temples.  
  
"Galadriel, why don't you just where a different one? They all look the same."  
  
This reasoning just generated the same effect it always did: Galadriel gaped, apalled.  
  
"All the same? All the same?! Celeborn! I can't possibly go give The Guy a make-over in any other dress! It must be number 502!" She continued to toss her dresses around the room.  
  
"We've just arrived on the ship and you're already running off to give The Guy a make-over?" Celeborn asked, slightly hurt that his wife of nearly 3,000 years was running off to fix some guy's image.  
  
Galadriel turned to her husband. " Dear, you know how much I love fashion. And giving The Guy a make-over was the only was for us to get on board." she stated patiently, still scanning the room for #502.  
  
Her eyes landed on another suitcase in the corner of the room. She briskly strode towards it, snapped it open, and began digging around inside.  
  
"Ah ha! There you are!" Galadriel beamed and held up a dress identical to the white one she was already wearing.  
  
She ran into the bathroom to change, and emerged a few minutes later wearing #502 and carrying a large bag of make-up and hair care products.  
  
Gliding over to her husband, Galadriel kissed him lightly on the cheek before hurrying out of the room.  
  
Celeborn sighed. " Mother was tight," he thought, " I should've married someone of intelligence."  
  
He picked up his brown crayon and continued to draw his hobbit.  
  
"A Hardbottle this time, I think..." he muttered thoughtfully.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
  
Glorfindel snapped his head up, and raised his arms in time to the music.  
  
"Cry me a river! Cry me a river!  
  
Glorfindel closed his eyes and became one with the cheesy music. He twirled and covorted until he was out of breath and bright red. The cheesy song ended.  
  
"I'm going to tear up the dance floor!" thought Glorfindel triumphantly.  
  
The next song began to play. It was a slow one.  
  
"You are beautiful No matter what they say. Words can't bring you down!"  
  
Glorfindel decided to go ballet on this one. He raised himself onto his tiptoes and began to teeter his way across the room.  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
  
Elrond pulled himself to his feet. He could alreasy feel the massive bruise growing where he'd hit his head. A moan escaped his lips. Pizza would make his head feel better. If only the kitchen was open.  
  
Elrond glanced hopefully at his ultra-cool glow-in-the-dark digital wristwatch. ( He'd won it in a pizza eating contest in Bree some years earlier.)  
  
His eyes focused on the numbers. Pizza time! Elrond leapt excitedly to his feet...and tripped on the same bag, landing on the same spot, and aquiring another bruise.  
  
"Oh pizza," he groaned," Why hath thou forsaken me so?"  
  
Elrond lay back, defeated. For now.  
  
~Will Galadriel give The Guy a successful new look? Will Celeborn ever grow up? How's Glorfindel's dancing coming along? Will Elrond EVER get his pizza? Find out next time on " A Cruise to Paradise Haven" ! Thanks for viewing!~ 


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